I was getting bored and wished to talk to her. but everytime i think so my heartbeat goes up and my fingers get cold.
I phone her with a view that I'll fix a meeting the next day..I ever so wanted to meet her. that too without samar.
I phoned her ultimately. she picked. her voice is so sweet. It almost faints me, n I feel sleepy. just if I could nehow hug her.
she said she was out. she wud call back.
hmm.. ok.. no prob.
i waited till 11.. till 12.. slept..
woke.. checked if she missed call me..
nope.
it was 1:30 am. 31 dec.
it was a celebration time. delhi guys do start celebrating a day before. hell..
she could have been out.. ejoying with freinds..
no missed call yet.?
she would have always remember to call me back, she always does so.
wat it meant?
was she still out.. ? does she have her phone with her.? why didnt she call? bad times come in time of celebrations only. should I call her? I remember her voice.. she was as if in a market.
is she lost. someone would have snatched her phone? but what if she was still not in hostel?
may the 'maa' always protect Intern. I seldom went to her temple, n whenever I went I prayed only for her safety, she is kinda stupid, can be easily fooled.
I slept.
NIGHTMARE:
dreams are often quite blur.
as if we both had gone somewhere in a rural area to meet someone.
i left early, but she stayed there.
she wished to leave too then. people at home in village, who were perhaps my mausi- mausa
wished that she stayed.. they were kinda forcing.
..then it was as if she escaped from there.
she was wearing the same clothes that were there in her profile pic. standing at some sort of three-way. the house just behind her was not probably the pukka one.. every thing was of as if mud.
she was perhaps waiting for a bus or jeep.
... she did get one, but she had to change jeeps several times perhaps before getting to the city.
it was night time.. the jeep had guys who were laughing at her. and she was scared.
then i dont remember much the scene was that few old and mid-aged women, probably 5 or 6 in number encicled her and mocked at her.. scolded her and one of them even pushed and slapped her. she still wore the same dress as in her profile pic, same goggles, same bag.. but on her own face there was distress, confusion, and she needed help.
they were shouting at her.. her condition I couldn't bear, remembering that dream, still causes a headache to me.
I woke up instantly.
31st:
7:30 am
i found myself awake with those scenes still going on in head.
terrible!! a dream.
fine then!! just a dream.
without no haste i , wid half assured heart of chance to find any missed call of her, checked the call log.
hmm, no missed call.
the fear was rising, two things.. 1> she wud have come late n fgot to misscal.
2> she wud not have come.
i chose to believe the 1st one.
waited for an hour.. then two.. three..
finally the move, i seldom wished to.. i decided to call her.
making a phone call to her was somehow a big event for me.
baahhh!!! how can i be so possessive n passionate.
how can vaibz, strato, fuehrer, gamer... be so foolish for some1 who will not call back..
umm..ermm. eh!!
that's inbuilt, innate.. predefined... and this also that she is "somehow" my weakness.
yes, weakness, coz with her I see sudden changes in my nature, I become my childhood guy
but for peace. i need to talk her.
called. she didnt pick.
Fear.
I need to go to Samar, I went.
but there I just sat n watched him facebooking. why shud I bother him every now and then.
I came back...
She had said all very true,I think too much.. but what to do? ,that makes me Strato.
called her again several times. dint pick.
so sat on chat, told this to samar.
he tried too.
many times. she picked this time..
samar told she woke up just now only. over eating.
"such a careless stupid she is.. went out with frenz in late night to have fun and overeating. and now sleeping till 2:00 pm. mad girl"
Saumya di was on chat there.
I told her about this.
I thought, "Whole day got destroyed, what worse night it was, sometimes I juss go mad. I ought not be that much possessive. It is such a mind baffling situation. and I have to go out too."
I decided to ask abt how she felt n whether,
